sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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