There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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