Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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