I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize