I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
