I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
