What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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