I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
