i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My legs feel like baby dolphins
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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