omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's never too late to be topless.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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