Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
