Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
