I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
