After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
