What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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