Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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