Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
