I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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