I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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