Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
