i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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