you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
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I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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