Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
