the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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