someone owes me an orgasm
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize