OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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