if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize