And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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