just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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