i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
They took my balls.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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