Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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