That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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