ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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