The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
