So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
