Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
