That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
