Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Fuck appropriateness.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
so much tequila, so little girl.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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