do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
