another moral hangover. fuck.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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