you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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