i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
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My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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