Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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