We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
