I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
