Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my sisters under your porch take her home
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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