so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize