fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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