At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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