I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
