...so i touched it.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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