I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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