Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i think i have herpe
just one?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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