Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize
