The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
