I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
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WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
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Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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