Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
