are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
