man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
